Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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