I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
