im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
