Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
