I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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