haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
