he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
they need to just BURY HIM!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
