just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
