i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
