Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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