so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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