I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
