belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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