Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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