That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
