Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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