why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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