Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
