Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
