Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
