i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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