have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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