I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
