me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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