help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
