I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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