I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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