Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
