Soap is not a condiment
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
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