you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
