God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
