I cannot find my penis.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
