Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
