I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
