Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
