She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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