I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
