ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
