You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
