wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
