C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
