"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
