Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
