Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
