Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
