it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Everyone says I win the strip club
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
