she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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