I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
