i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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