ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
