were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
