somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
