If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
