Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
