I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
