Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
