At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
