i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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