Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
